I Never, I Know

I am scared.

No really.

Calm, little me.

I am scared.

Why?

You.

Well more me.

I'm scared you'll leave me.

No, not really scared.

Terrified.

Terror gnaws at my soul.

Because one day, you'll get tired of me.

No really.

You will.

Everybody does.

Everybody always does.

Someone else is more important.

Which is probably true.

I'm not trying to blame you.

I'm just saying it hurts,

Knowing I'm not the best.

I'm annoying.

I know.

I'm rude.

I know.

I'm selfish.

I know.

I'm draining.

I know.

I'm needy.

I know.

I make people angry.

I know.

I never understand you.

I know.

I never give you enough help.

I know.

I don't feed into your emotions enough.

I know.

I am too “woe is me.”

I know.

I don't forgive enough.

I know.

I don't love enough.

I know.

I KNOW, okay?

I know.

I know.

You think I don't?

I know you only tolerate me.

I know you lean on me.

Which is fine.

It's why I am here.

I know that when I stop being useful,

I will be cast aside.

And honestly?

I'm okay with that.

No really.

You are more important.

I'm okay.

I live to serve.

I love to serve.

I serve.

I am a servant.

I can never rise higher.

I don't want to.

I just want a little love.

That's all.

Give me a little love.

Cast me aside.

Throw me under the bus.

Kill me with your hands

Or with your words.

That's fine.

I live for you.

I love you.

I will die for you.

So that's it.

That's all I really wanted to say.

You can go back to ignoring me

And my problems.

It's okay.

Really.

Because when it comes down to it,

I'll still love you anyways.